The Secret Letter

Dear God,
I have contemplated writing to you umpteen times, but today, I certainly could not resist putting my pen to paper and tell you about all the hardships and pain I endure along this journey called "Life" and also thank you for acting as a mediator in helping me mend ties with life, time and again.

You have taught me not to crib and complain about anything and to accept everything with strength and grace. I have tried to heed your advice and shall certainly continue to do so in the times to come, barring today. Today, I just want you to spare some moments to see all the sorrow that comes along with being happy, the frowns that accompany my smiles, my fear and weaknesses that often seem hidden in a bid to look strong. Even without willing to see the pain and sadness that hide under a veneer, people easily label me. For all the love I get from those who genuinely love me, there is equal amount of angst and prejudice from those who are insecure. There are days when I feel extremely joyous and elated; but, there is hardly anyone to share in the joy. I may show the world that I am strong, but on the inside, I still feel very vulnerable everytime someone judges me. I try to look as confident a person as possible, but at times, even my sobs refuse to hold back. For, how much can one person bear the judgements and opinions from the entire world! Many a time, I look into the mirror and try to hold a smile, till my smile finally gives way to a frown. Sometimes, all I want to do is try and find you with the hope that one day all my fears, doubts and worries will seem justified in the quest to find you. Alas, I later realize that this moment shall never go beyond my dreams! Just when I begin to think that my life seems static and directionless, a high-pitched and stern voice tells me that all is not over yet. Soon after, my spirit is replaced with that of a warrior. This is when realization dawns on me. And, this is also the only time that I begin to acknowledge your invincible presence through that voice.

Just when I am about to give up, I am made to look back on the various downfalls. Didn't you plant those rough patches on purpose? Okay, now I understand. If you allow me to join the dots, can I assume that these periods of lows acted as the biggest lessons of my life and made me tougher? And had it not been for those lessons, I would have never valued life. My smiles seem to have grown bigger, now that I know the way out, every time I fall into a trap. And the secret that voice whispers is, ''Never give up! There is something better in store.'' Since I have already assumed that it is your voice that is trying to help me out, may I also ask you if I am the only one you chose to go through such extended periods of helplessness? If I am one of the few people to face life's wrath, then I can sense a pattern of bias which works in my favor. But, I want to know why you choose only a select few people to suffer more than the others? I promise I won't let the cat out of the bag.

Although I have a large list of questions and complaints, I have decided to do away with the problem sheet as you have asked me not to cry and complain. Till the time I receive your reply, I have a couple of things to do. The list goes as, I shall shred the problem sheet; I must keep smiling till my smile turns into a frown and back into a smile; I shall learn from my mistakes and bounce back higher every time there is a fall and if I feel bogged down by people's opinions and judgements about me, I shall believe that they are insecure and lonely and that they need to get in touch with you.

Yours faithfully,
A hopeful soul