5 things nobody can teach you

The list can be longer based on the experiences one has had in life. I have shortlisted the five things that, I think, people should much rather define for themselves as opposed to following a herd mentality.

1) Meaning of Happiness - Oxford defines Happiness as the state of being happy. And what is being happy all about? It's about one's well-being and the feeling of a sense of pleasure with what one has in life. And the reason I feel happiness cannot be taught is because what makes one individual happy does not necessarily seem to bring joy and pleasure to another individual. I, for the longest time, have derived a lot of thrill from indulging in adventure sports. Every time I hear of someone partaking in one, or see pictures of a bungee jump, I get an adrenaline rush. There's a sense of accomplishment that is attached to performing stunts like this. And there's another set of individuals who finds doing such activities worthless and see them as things that are overhyped, and view the bravado involved as unnecessary. There's always going to be two outcomes to everything one does: positive and negative. It is upto every individual to weigh the outcome of every action in a way that leads them to decide whether a particular thing will lead to happiness or pain.

2) The attitude to carry - Over a period of time I've realised that a bad attitude is capable of causing much more harm than any war can ever cause. As much as a person may stand for love and peace, living in a war-torn country with a clenched fist is nothing less than foolishness. Sometime back, I came across a beautiful article on the Internet, which narrated a story about how much of an asset right mindfulness and sensible behavior can be. The story includes a visit that the narrator once made, to a mall, with his friend and his parents. The narrator and his friend were inside a book shop in a mall, when they heard loud noises coming from outside the store. As it turned out, the parents of the narrator's friend had indulged in a verbal onslaught with each other. Upon finding out what had happened, the friend of the narrator asked him to go to the bookstore, while he excused himself for a minute. The friend asked his parents to go and sit inside the car till he and the narrator were done. On the way back home, nobody said anything. Once they were all home, the narrator was asked to sit in the drawing room with his friend's mother, while his friend took his father inside a room. After a few minutes, the boy sent his father out and called his mother inside. And later, he took inside both his parents, together, before proceeding with any other doings. As it turned out, the friend took his father inside to discuss the matter with him, and only after he was done that the mother was called inside to discuss the matter, before, finally, talking to both his parents, together, and settling the matter between them, in a way that no grudges were held. The narrator described how his friend was mindful of everything he did, beginning from not reacting immediately, while at the mall, and later, not discussing anything in the car, where the narrator was present. Upon reaching home, he tactfully called his dad inside the room, first, because he knew that women have a soft and tender heart, and that they forgive easily. So, once his dad was explained to about the matter and made to realise his mistake, his mother would not take time to realise her mistake and easily forgive and forget the situation. After the matter was sorted, everybody seemed happy with each other and the fight became a thing of the past. According to the narrator, his friend was a very intelligent person, who knew where to speak, what to speak, when to speak and whom to speak to. Despite living in the same house as his parents, the boy certainly stood out beacuse of his attitude and sensibilities.

3) How to succeed - I used to brainstorm. I still do so. And I shall continue the trend of finding the formula for success in the future. The only difference between thinking about what success is, today, and thinking about what success is, tomorrow, would be the increased strength in my belief that success should not be awaited like a bolt of lightning, which will eventually happen as I keep getting less and less insecure every time 'success' is discussed. The reason no one can teach how to succeed is that success is purely circumstantial, and most importantly, it is a state of mind. What success means to one is not necessarily viewed as success to another person. Let me take a classic example, the women belonging to the royal family of Saudi Arabia, who are surrounded by opulence, are envied by many, and are thought to personify success. Ironically, for these women, the freedom to live their lives the way they wish to is what success constitutes.

4) How to be yourself - Living in a world that has already set a lot of barriers by constantly highlighting the differences between what is acceptable and what is not, there is a very little  scope for people to truly be themselves and experience their true individuality. No matter how much one may be advised about how to break free of all the shackles of life in order to be truly free, the fact of the matter remains that one will always have a road map that is unique to himself/herself, along with his/her own definition of what being oneself means. And conforming to that perspective would be depriving oneself from being his/her real self.

5) Contentment - When I was 3, getting a star on my hand meant the world to me. When I was 7, getting a Barbie doll as a birthday present mattered more than receiving a cash amount. When I was 12, getting to eat my favorite snack after bribing my mother was the most exciting deal. As a teenager, looking attractive became the most important thing. As a young adult, trying to fall in love with who I am, and everything I do takes centre stage. And since there are going to be many exciting journeys, ahead, staying contented looks like the biggest challenge, when the definitions of 'contenment' are varied. Since I have to decide what gives me utmost satisfaction, I choose the path of self-sufficiency as my path to contentment. What about you?

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

It was a bright, sunny day. The weather was just perfect. The ferry that took the passengers to see the Statue of Liberty had just started. Every view from the ferry was scenic and magnanimous. The sound of the water was enough to soothe my anxious nerves. While everybody was engrossed in animated discussions, and looked gung-ho about seeing the iconic statue, up close, my mind kept going to my college admission status and whether I would get admission into the stream I had applied for. Life, till the tenth grade, was seamless, living under the shadow of my parents. Opting for a career, when the naivety levels were at its peak, made a classic example of preparing to fail. On my way back, after touring around the statue, a much awaited news was broken to me. It was a news that would eventually alter the course of my life. My admission was secured in a junior college that would lead me to pursue engineering at the degree level. My mental exasperation had come to an end with the development. The journey ahead offered its own share of pressure and exhaustion, combined with my resistance to accept what was to be.


''Ohm's law deals with the relationship between voltage and current in an ideal conductor. This relationship states that: The potential voltage difference across an ideal conductor is proportional to the current through it,'' said Professor Dinesh in the middle of a Physics practical class. The watch showed ten minutes past 4 p.m., and the class was going to end at 4:30 p.m. I was looking around the class and fidgeting with a pen. I just wanted the class to end. After I was home, I could barely stop thinking about my Physics practical class. I couldn't understand why my attention kept drifting from what was going on in the class. I was clearly not on the same page as the rest of the class. "This is not where I want to be," I told myself. For the first time in my life I had felt so lost. Everything was going on at a fast pace; but, sooner or late, putting a brake on something that I was never cut out for was inevitable. Soon, studies started becoming a burden. On the one hand was the lure of a promising career in Science, and on the other hand was a calling that I could no longer ignore. In India, one's career is not just restricted to his/her own self. There's a multitude of emotions and sentiments of various individuals, including friends and family, along with one's own opinion, that contribute towards what career one finally ends up pursuing. I was torn between hopes and possibilities. The mental battle persisted for a long time until I finally took the plunge and switched to Arts.

The queue for the admission form for Arts was quite long. Maybe it was sheer anxiety, or maybe studies had become a challenge that made getting a degree feel like a monumental task. I had explored all the aspects of human thinking by the time my Arts programme began. After struggling for three years with what could have been a memorable brush with college studies, nothing, absolutely nothing made sense, at once. When I should have felt secure in the knowledge that I finally had a chance of changing the path on which my life was treading, I was deprived of all my emotions. All of this, which eventually changed, made me hit rock bottom. All that could have ever gone wrong had already occurred. All the kinds of advice and opinion I would ever receive were already taken into consideration. The time to remain helpless and hope for change was up. It was time to implement correct actions and wise decisions. The best way out was acting upon where my interests lied. All the external voices had to die down.

It's been over five years since my travails began. The journey has been riddled with several highs and lows. Many people pride themselves in achieving great successes and milestones; but, I pride myself in surviving all the odds. Any or every kind of physical harm keeps up the façade of there being a battle; but, I say, the real battle is all about fighting what lies within and to constantly strive to heal wounds that are not translucent, but powerful enough to determine the human trajectory. My battle is beginning to become a distant past; and it hasn't just revolved around getting my educational journey back on track. It has also matured into wonderfully enlightening me on aspects that try to look beyond one's self. And that's the genius of life. Some things are meant to happen for the greater good. And some things lack worth without a fair share of struggle.

The realm of Bollywood music

Be it a thriller, biopic, love story or a slapstick dramedy, a Bollywood movie is incomplete without its share of songs. No matter how irrelevant a song may be to the story of a movie, swaying to the beats of the song, while lip-syncing to it is central to any Hindi drama. So much so that even foreign imports like Nargis Fakhri and Jacqueline Fernandes have managed to survive in Bollywood for this long by simply mastering the 'thumkas', to strike a chord with their desi audience. Sadly for these ladies, the UP, Bihar market has already been captured by Shilpa Shetty.

From Lata Mangeshkar's 'Ae mere watan ke logon' to Honey Singh's 'Char bottle vodka', the meaning of love has come full circle. From using metaphors to describe a woman's grace and charm to outrightly describing her as a vice, Bollywood songs have always gained traction, be it for their mediocrity or their plain lyrical genius. To those that have never been exposed to Hindi film music, it wouldn't take more than a few hit Bollywood tracks to convince one that it is the songs that make the movie, and not the other way around. As I stand here, today, I can proudly attribute all my extended imagination and feminine impracticalities to all the Hindi film songs I grew up listening to. 'Chhaiya Chhaiya' from Dil Se seriously got me contemplating taking a top-of-the-train ride for the longest time, as a kid. 'Nimbooda' from Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam was such a rage that, to this day, I bear the most expressive face every time the song plays. Kal Ho Na Ho's title track was everybody's favored nostalgia-inducing, sad song. The song was a saviour for every person who couldn't sing to save their lives. Ila Arun's voice in Choli Ke Piche Kya Hai always served as a good remedy to scare an ill-behaved child into discipline.

On the one hand where A.R. Rahman songs have been a treat to the ears, a chiffon saree and the alps have done little to break the Bollywood romance stereotype. Looking back, there doesn't seem to be one single auspicious occasion/festival that hasn't been acknowledged with a Bollywood song. If the upbeat and larger-than-life Bollywood songs are the life of every party, then Arijit Singh songs work like magic for the lovelorn hearts. The latest musical sensation that the Tum Hi Ho singer is, he has seen an entire generation let its emotions find a voice though his soulful tracks. Although I have never been a fan of old Hindi film songs, I never seem to get enough of how flowers remained a permanent fixture in songs that tried to potray physical intimacy between the hero and heroine of the movie. Well, it seems like the phrase 'the birds and the bees' found its origin in the old, magnificent Bollywood songs.

Many may thrash Bollywood songs, and brush them off as inferior; but, very few can deny the thrill of grooving to a Bollywood song. As much as Hindi movies are incomplete without their fair share of songs, every wedding, party, and festival lacks worth until the DJ plays at least a few Bollywood dance numbers that can hardly stop people from getting hungover. I have started compiling all the hit Bollywood songs of 2016, and realised that maybe we should get some international artists to sing for Bollywood movies. Or maybe, we can follow in the footsteps of Priyanka Chopra, and try and maybe get someone like Chris Martin to collaborate with Kailash Kher, to get some indie cred. If such a thing has to happen, then I can already see the international audience being left awestruck by Kailash Kher's vocal strength, while Chris Martin entertains the audience with the piano and contemplates being a judge on Indian Idol.