5 things nobody can teach you

The list can be longer based on the experiences one has had in life. I have shortlisted the five things that, I think, people should much rather define for themselves as opposed to following a herd mentality.

1) Meaning of Happiness - Oxford defines Happiness as the state of being happy. And what is being happy all about? It's about one's well-being and the feeling of a sense of pleasure with what one has in life. And the reason I feel happiness cannot be taught is because what makes one individual happy does not necessarily seem to bring joy and pleasure to another individual. I, for the longest time, have derived a lot of thrill from indulging in adventure sports. Every time I hear of someone partaking in one, or see pictures of a bungee jump, I get an adrenaline rush. There's a sense of accomplishment that is attached to performing stunts like this. And there's another set of individuals who finds doing such activities worthless and see them as things that are overhyped, and view the bravado involved as unnecessary. There's always going to be two outcomes to everything one does: positive and negative. It is upto every individual to weigh the outcome of every action in a way that leads them to decide whether a particular thing will lead to happiness or pain.

2) The attitude to carry - Over a period of time I've realised that a bad attitude is capable of causing much more harm than any war can ever cause. As much as a person may stand for love and peace, living in a war-torn country with a clenched fist is nothing less than foolishness. Sometime back, I came across a beautiful article on the Internet, which narrated a story about how much of an asset right mindfulness and sensible behavior can be. The story includes a visit that the narrator once made, to a mall, with his friend and his parents. The narrator and his friend were inside a book shop in a mall, when they heard loud noises coming from outside the store. As it turned out, the parents of the narrator's friend had indulged in a verbal onslaught with each other. Upon finding out what had happened, the friend of the narrator asked him to go to the bookstore, while he excused himself for a minute. The friend asked his parents to go and sit inside the car till he and the narrator were done. On the way back home, nobody said anything. Once they were all home, the narrator was asked to sit in the drawing room with his friend's mother, while his friend took his father inside a room. After a few minutes, the boy sent his father out and called his mother inside. And later, he took inside both his parents, together, before proceeding with any other doings. As it turned out, the friend took his father inside to discuss the matter with him, and only after he was done that the mother was called inside to discuss the matter, before, finally, talking to both his parents, together, and settling the matter between them, in a way that no grudges were held. The narrator described how his friend was mindful of everything he did, beginning from not reacting immediately, while at the mall, and later, not discussing anything in the car, where the narrator was present. Upon reaching home, he tactfully called his dad inside the room, first, because he knew that women have a soft and tender heart, and that they forgive easily. So, once his dad was explained to about the matter and made to realise his mistake, his mother would not take time to realise her mistake and easily forgive and forget the situation. After the matter was sorted, everybody seemed happy with each other and the fight became a thing of the past. According to the narrator, his friend was a very intelligent person, who knew where to speak, what to speak, when to speak and whom to speak to. Despite living in the same house as his parents, the boy certainly stood out beacuse of his attitude and sensibilities.

3) How to succeed - I used to brainstorm. I still do so. And I shall continue the trend of finding the formula for success in the future. The only difference between thinking about what success is, today, and thinking about what success is, tomorrow, would be the increased strength in my belief that success should not be awaited like a bolt of lightning, which will eventually happen as I keep getting less and less insecure every time 'success' is discussed. The reason no one can teach how to succeed is that success is purely circumstantial, and most importantly, it is a state of mind. What success means to one is not necessarily viewed as success to another person. Let me take a classic example, the women belonging to the royal family of Saudi Arabia, who are surrounded by opulence, are envied by many, and are thought to personify success. Ironically, for these women, the freedom to live their lives the way they wish to is what success constitutes.

4) How to be yourself - Living in a world that has already set a lot of barriers by constantly highlighting the differences between what is acceptable and what is not, there is a very little  scope for people to truly be themselves and experience their true individuality. No matter how much one may be advised about how to break free of all the shackles of life in order to be truly free, the fact of the matter remains that one will always have a road map that is unique to himself/herself, along with his/her own definition of what being oneself means. And conforming to that perspective would be depriving oneself from being his/her real self.

5) Contentment - When I was 3, getting a star on my hand meant the world to me. When I was 7, getting a Barbie doll as a birthday present mattered more than receiving a cash amount. When I was 12, getting to eat my favorite snack after bribing my mother was the most exciting deal. As a teenager, looking attractive became the most important thing. As a young adult, trying to fall in love with who I am, and everything I do takes centre stage. And since there are going to be many exciting journeys, ahead, staying contented looks like the biggest challenge, when the definitions of 'contenment' are varied. Since I have to decide what gives me utmost satisfaction, I choose the path of self-sufficiency as my path to contentment. What about you?