We live in a world where dictionaries, encyclopedias and books have lost their battle to Google, when it comes to being the most common source of information. Right from looking up to know whether LOL actually stands for Laugh Out Loud or Lots Of Love to googling Donald Trump’s girlfriends or trying to google your own name and feel a tinge of happiness about finding your name somewhere in the list, even if it reads something like “Top 10 Bageshree Mehta profiles | LinkedIn,” we are virtually handicapped, today, without fulfilling our constant need to stay updated every hour of the day. And in a bid to acknowledge the larger-than-life presence of Google in all our lives, I have decided to list down 10 most insane, hilarious questions that have been asked to Google.
1) Who introduced the concept of marriage?
All those who regret getting married or dread committing to someone for the rest of their lives often contemplate finding out the culprit who invented the concept of a wedlock. Unfortunately, for these people, their culprit must be enjoying a panoramic view of all the much-out-of-love couples pulling each other’s hair out from the skies.
2) Why can’t I find God?
I’m sure Google would have considered claiming to be the most widely worshipped god when it would have stumbled upon this question. But one of the most striking characteristics of god is modesty, and one of the biggest miseries of mankind is that it easily overlooks modesty. I sincerely hope that Google, one day, replies with “Look at me. I’m the God.”
3) How can I earn £1000000000?
If only Google had the answer to this question, every being in this world would cease to know of poverty. The only believable answer Google could give is by saying that one could actually earn this amount if he/she had the rights to sell Google.
4) Does farting help burn calories?
Ladies and gentlemen, if farting had helped burn calories then dietitians and nutritionists, all across the globe, would be promoting Budweiser, Eclipse and Lays among many junk items.
5) Is it okay to opt for a threesome?
Google is not that possessive girlfriend/boyfriend of yours who would mind if you decided to have sex with someone else. As long as you are comfortable, it is ready to accept any number of people you wish to include. And please refrain from blaming Google for advising you to make your own choice if you are caught red-handed.
6) How can one become a godman?
In India, a godman must be a good actor, liar, orator, womanizer and thus a risk taker in order to be popular with the masses. And if one actually had what it takes to be a real godman, he/she wouldn’t consult Google on that.
7) What do I do if my phone fell into the toilet?
Unfortunately, Google hasn't developed hands, yet, to take out your phone from the toilet. But there’s one idea, here, if you can afford it. You can always use the flush to avoid the mess.
8) How to take a picture with an ant?
You must be one bored, hopeless soul to ask such a question, but here’s one suggestion - you can squish the ant and zoom in on it till the ant and only a few strands of your hair are visible on the screen.
9) How can I get to date the richest man in this world?
One option is to work as hard as possible to become the richest woman in the world. Once you are the richest or the most beautiful woman, you should ask yourself if you actually want to marry the richest man in the world.
10) How to tell a baby to stop crying?
You just need to spend more time with the baby and be more attentive to him/her rather than asking too many questions to Google and thus avoiding the baby.
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