Have you imagined what the struggles of the women of the previous generations were, while you continue performing some daily chores which are meant to be typical only to women? If, back then, an woman's daily struggle involved peacefully co-existing in a joint family, the struggle, today, is to take care of her family as well as of her work. If, back then, dealing with orthodoxy, which was commonplace, was a struggle, then, today, it is a struggle to keep our thoughts from moving forward at a pace which makes it difficult for the patriarchal Indian society to comprehend. The word 'struggle' is a relatively strong word and the reason why I call a lot of what we do, today, as part of our struggle is that despite having the freedom to choose what we do and lead our lives the way we wish to, the number of hurdles that come along the way, whether it is dealing with how we are a part of a generation that has ''changed'' all the stereotypes of womanhood or refraining from calling myself a feminist for the fear of being labelled anti-men among many other things, doesn't seem to dwindle.
There is a certain amount of trials that most 21st century, Indian women face irrespective of how they decide to live their lives. I have, vehemently, expressed some of those concerns, here.
- Every time I'm traveling alone post 10 p.m., my character and dignity are questioned. I have no option but to be subjected to the prying eyes of the so-called society. It doesn't matter to this 'society' whether I'm educated and belong to a virtuous and 'good' family, along with the fact it is only and only my and my closed ones' concern about where I'm till late before giving me any unsuitable tag.
- I may be a career-oriented, strong-minded and independent woman, who has her own set of goals to achieve, or be anything I wish to be but, I'm told in no uncertain terms that a woman is incomplete without a husband in her life.
-It is completely acceptable if a boy/man drinks and smokes and goes around with various women. It, in fact, becomes a matter of pride for him and his family if he is yearned for by many women, but on the same hand if a woman does this, she becomes a slut, who is a blot on her family.
-If a woman raises her concerns and voices her opinion before following a custom, then she is not sanskari. Expecting a well-educated, independent woman to blindly follow customs and traditions is similar to expecting a person of royal stature to mouth expletives. It is just not possible!
-Sometimes I feel that being well-read and educated acts as a curse given the kind of society we live in. It is not the hallmark of an independent-minded woman to live with a list of dos and don'ts, when it comes to the way she chooses to dress, the lifestyle she prefers to enjoy or the group of people she likes to hang out with among other things.
-As a woman, I must be fair, tall, beautiful, well-educated and financially independent, while being able to drive a car, cook different varieties of food and take care of my family. And let me not forget the most important thing - I must not raise any questions and objections if my male counterpart doesn't fulfill those requirements.
-I'm a "feminist" if I support women and stand for their rights, and I'm a misogynist if I say that all men are not rapists and commitment-phobic.
-If I don't wax and wear make-up, or groom myself the way a stereotypical woman does, serious doubts are raised over my femininity. Relax. There is something known as being comfortable in one's own skin, and if one is happy with the way he/she, then that be it.
-You cannot be a woman and not marry before 25. On the other hand, you can be a man and choose to walk down the aisle at 40. Apparently, the reason for this is that a woman's beauty fades as she grows older, whereas a man becomes more handsome with age; and it is said that men have a thing for young women, and hence prefer to have them as a bride.
-Every achievement, whether big or small, is received with one ultimate thought - But one fine day she has to get married. And if a woman is married, then the thought changes to - But her real job and achievement lies in doing what makes her husband and her family happy.
As much as I dislike cribbing and complaining, I strongly feel there is a dire need to tame our mentality, which is quite accustomed to seeing women as being sub-standard and inferior to men. The only flip side to talking about women empowerment and their rights is inadvertently admitting that men are considered to be the stronger sex by trying to equate women with men, when that is actually far from being true.
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