It was a usual Thursday evening, when my mother took her regular stroll in the garden behind our house, while I queued up behind a bunch of kids, who awaited their turn to sit on the bumpy slide. There was a bright, attractive passage that connected a spiral slide and a bumpy one. As they inched closer towards the slide, the kids usually experienced an adrenaline rush before beginning to jump up and down with excitement. I, with my childlike enthusiasm, always waved, excitedly, at my mother from that little passage before sliding down but, that day was a little different. I heard collective laughter of the kids around me, when I got off the slide. Something was certainly not right for I had grown up a little.
On our way home, while my mother tried to wipe my tears, I could barely comprehend what had transpired. The ten-year-old child in me refused to think beyond anything except for having missed out on my playtime for what was going to alter my body and actions for the rest of my life. "Now onwards, I expect you to know how to take care of your health and body. I cannot be with you be all the time,” my mother stated, in a calm tone, before asking me to change my clothes. Terror struck as soon as I entered the washroom. I, for one, had always associated blood with wars and fights, but what I experienced that day was far from what I had imagined. From playing with dolls and jumping around in the park without a care in the world to transitioning into womanhood and suddenly monitoring my actions, the change almost felt like something was thrusted upon me and I had no choice but to eventually make peace with the change.
I refused going to the garden with my mother for the next few days following the sudden bout of emotional and physical chaos in order to save myself from any further embarrassment. While the girls in my class giggled and excitedly discussed their anticipated participation in the different sporting events that were lined up in the school through the year, I had slowly begun to keep a check on my physical preparedness and allowances. Things around, still, seemed pretty much the same except that I had grown up a little. The environment that I existed in, too, remained pretty much the same except that the people that co-existed in it chose to look at me a little differently, now, maybe as someone who had lost her innocent with puberty. While I grappled with the harsh truth of growing up, the tears that welled up in my eyes reflected the sorrow of losing all of what I cherished as a carefree, ten-year-old girl including the moments when I happily piggybacked on my father and took pride in roughing up my male friends, when they tried to tamper with my bicycle. What I took the longest time to come to terms with was the fact that I grew up even when everything else was constant.
Today, at 24, when I look back on the immediate transition, there is a strange sense of pride in having overcome the emotions and mental pandemonium, which came partially from having to deal with the anxiety of what lay ahead and majorly from the thought of having to part with my indeed apparent childhood, or so I thought. That’s the sad part of life; nothing remains forever. What had taken the coming together of countless precious moments needed nothing more than the ticking of the clock to turn it all into memories. A girl that once made a raw, innocent sight had turned into a woman embracing maturity. Nonetheless, everything was the same except that I had grown up a little that day.
On our way home, while my mother tried to wipe my tears, I could barely comprehend what had transpired. The ten-year-old child in me refused to think beyond anything except for having missed out on my playtime for what was going to alter my body and actions for the rest of my life. "Now onwards, I expect you to know how to take care of your health and body. I cannot be with you be all the time,” my mother stated, in a calm tone, before asking me to change my clothes. Terror struck as soon as I entered the washroom. I, for one, had always associated blood with wars and fights, but what I experienced that day was far from what I had imagined. From playing with dolls and jumping around in the park without a care in the world to transitioning into womanhood and suddenly monitoring my actions, the change almost felt like something was thrusted upon me and I had no choice but to eventually make peace with the change.
I refused going to the garden with my mother for the next few days following the sudden bout of emotional and physical chaos in order to save myself from any further embarrassment. While the girls in my class giggled and excitedly discussed their anticipated participation in the different sporting events that were lined up in the school through the year, I had slowly begun to keep a check on my physical preparedness and allowances. Things around, still, seemed pretty much the same except that I had grown up a little. The environment that I existed in, too, remained pretty much the same except that the people that co-existed in it chose to look at me a little differently, now, maybe as someone who had lost her innocent with puberty. While I grappled with the harsh truth of growing up, the tears that welled up in my eyes reflected the sorrow of losing all of what I cherished as a carefree, ten-year-old girl including the moments when I happily piggybacked on my father and took pride in roughing up my male friends, when they tried to tamper with my bicycle. What I took the longest time to come to terms with was the fact that I grew up even when everything else was constant.
Today, at 24, when I look back on the immediate transition, there is a strange sense of pride in having overcome the emotions and mental pandemonium, which came partially from having to deal with the anxiety of what lay ahead and majorly from the thought of having to part with my indeed apparent childhood, or so I thought. That’s the sad part of life; nothing remains forever. What had taken the coming together of countless precious moments needed nothing more than the ticking of the clock to turn it all into memories. A girl that once made a raw, innocent sight had turned into a woman embracing maturity. Nonetheless, everything was the same except that I had grown up a little that day.
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