Do Come Home

Atithi devo bhava! This Sanskrit phrase translates to “Guests are next to God,” and it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that it is synonymous with the Indian culture. Well, but having guests over when you live outside of India holds a very different meaning.

Growing up in India, I had guests at my house more frequently than I caught a cold (IYKYK). Living in a joint family meant that one was never alone. In addition to a large extended family, everyone had their own set of friends whom they definitely wanted to invite. However, there was a certain sense of ease which accompanied every action, chore and doing then. 

I saw my mother constantly balance her roles as a mother and a daughter-in-law With three generations living under one roof, my mother, as the woman of the house, always strived to maintain a level equilibrium between me and my brother on one side and my grandparents on the other.

Things in the West are marginally different. The whole idea of having people over at your place is met with a sense of stress and burden. Everything you do to accommodate your guests and make them feel comfortable is viewed more as a chore. 

During my daily walk a few days ago, I spoke to my friend here in Singapore, a local, about how I skipped my walks when we had guests over, since there was no help. In her casual element, she stated that Indians are a “rare breed that is dependent and spoiling the other communties.” I glanced at her and wondered about what she meant by “wrong precedence”: having guests over or the Indian system of hiring house-help. Looking at my puzzled face, she smirked and mentioned, “Why do you need guests when you already worship so many Gods.” As my expression started resembling an “IDK” face, my Indian mother called to say Bai finally paachi desh mathi aavi gayi aaje.

2 a.m. Shenanigans

I’m currently in that phase of life where my age hits me every day. On some days, I feel like I want to conquer the world and, on some, I feel like I can’t take it in any more. Thr former gives me hope that, with my age, I can reign in my youthfulness. The latter pushes me towards taking it easy or, in short, just accept just stay on the couch all day and procrastinate. 

It’s one again that time of the day when my eyes can barely stay open. If you didn’t know, I usually tend to sleep around 2:15 a.m. Not one to boast about staying true to my commitments on the blog front, at least in the last few weeks, sleep (bed) beckons at the moment. Before  I sail through in my dreamland, clutching my niece’s favourite pink pillow, here’a a reminder that time is running. So, better take your taking your chance(s) now. Okay now, good bye. 

Cream, Crunch and Challenges

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. Whosoever spoke these golden words certainly epitomized and lived by the virtues of patience and endurance. But how long should you endure toughness and exercise your will power?

One of the easiest ways to slide your heart into some of the richest carriers of calories is to park yourself in front of a screen and binge on the myriad colours of M&M's, Lindt, Lay's and Doritos. As someone who is blessed with the natural talent of attracting kilograms with the mere smell of fats, I can boast about spending upwards of one lakh Indian rupees in my lifetime on satiating my salt and sugar cravings. Choosing between maintaining a healthy weight and this calorific combination of crunchiness and creaminess is where most of my life's challenges lie.

For a long time now, I have struggled to keep my obsession with chocolates and chips in control.  These two big C's have ruled my appetite for a good part of the last decade and a half. Many of you who know me know that I'm often in the sometimes-on-and-sometimes-off mode when it comes to my sugar consumption. A few months ago, I also tried to completely cut off chocolate desserts from my diet. To give you an idea, I can easily relish 3 to 4 tablespoons of Nutella alone in one go, and still feel the temptation to scoop out the same amount again. Considering the extent of my sugar appetite, successfully eliminating sugary cocoa from my diet was no mean feat for me. However, I got back to galloping desserts and chocolates soon after the sabbatical. 

In the case of chips, no matter how hard I try to stay off Lay's, Doritos or my favourite yellow banana wafers, I have rarely ever gone more than a couple of weeks without feeling like I can eat a dozen packets of these chips right now. Ultimately, I always end up falling in the trap of guilt eating and sending condolences to my diet.

Despite having a more-than-average understanding about nutrition and healthy food options, I continue to struggle with implementing the idea of mind over matter. Just a little secret here I didn't intend to share, but sharing anyway, I have recently started following my self-imposed plan of one dessert and one cheat snack per week, to prevent any withdrawal binges. I'm hopeful I'll be able to sustain it this time around. Please send across your positive thoughts. And shh...don't share this with anyone as yet!

Can't Stop! Won't Stop!

 It’s 2:21 a.m. right now in Singapore. So technically, it’s already Friday, but I always mark a new day after I wake up in the morning. Except for on birthdays. And anniversaries. It’s just a way to make special occasions different from the rest and let the fun last longer.  

If you’re thinking about what makes me sit on my computer at such an unearthly hour, I’m trying to mask my procrastination skills under the garb of convenience and choice. It’s been three weeks since I decided to get back to writing regularly. I have planned to put up two posts a week for the blog, one on Tuesday and one on Thursday. While I have so far been able to stick to the schedule (um… almost!), the one thing I have realised, as a sort of confirmation, is that I’m not just a procrastinator, but a highly evolved one at that. And secondly, I’m a night owl who cringes at the thought of waking up to an alarm.

This blog has been my haven for a decade now. It’s what kept me going when the going got tough. It allows be to be my most vulnerable self while channelling my thoughts towards strengthening my inner voice. The last couple of years got me a little distant from this core space, thanks to moving to a different country and settling into the normalcy of marriage (yet another example of my procrastination skills).

This post is not just a random one aimed at keeping this space active, but also a reminder, to myself, about what writing means to me and the gratitude that fills me up when I see some of you keep on coming back to read my words. I may not always live up to your expectations or the reason why you choose to consume my writing, but the one thing I promise without any exaggeration is that every view on my blog just gives me a bigger reason to continue along this journey. For the little community of readers I have built. So, thank you.

 

Pushing Through Patriarchy

In the age of artificial intelligence and active attempts to colonize Mars, realizing that we still exist in a patriarchal society is more disorienting than seeing a super fit athlete frequently eating a diet of unhealthy food. Yet, the larger society continues to advance towards the next big thing with a leash on.

Patriarchy as a concept looks like a conveniently twisted ploy under the garb of nature’s law. Why else would the prehistoric practice or idea of men being hunters or food gatherers and women being nurturers or child-bearers in an uncivilized society mean that men are superior to women even in the 21^st century? This should rather be looked upon as a fine management of two complimenting resources in today’s leadership-driven world.

Today, especially in the Indian society, the participation of women in workforce has increased manifold. Kudos! Women are independent and, more importantly, women have started to find a voice that hold its own through many a storm. Yet, this alone is not enough to fight the patriarchal mindset.

One must remember that the larger goal is the acceptance of and respect towards everything that womanhood stands for. Whether a woman is a fully devoted mother or a top-ranking leader of a country, she must be regarded on equal grounds solely because she is as much a member of our society as anyone else.

For starters, patriarchy must first be tackled at a mental level before its physical manifestation. And we need both men and women to contribute collectively to see a change. After all, like Nobel Laureate Shirin Ebadi says, “Women are not just victims of this patriarchal society, but they are also its carriers. Let us keep in mind that every oppressive man was raised in the confines of his mother’s home.”

                                                                            

 

 

You Do You

 This seemingly uncomplicated phrase can well be the solution to some of the greatest our problems. It stands for how one should represent himself/herself in a way that best highlights everyone’s individual self.  

As of October 2024, the world population stands at 8.2 billion. With the human species sharing nearly 99.9% DNA, you can take any two people from two extreme ends of the world and still see that they will both bleed if they get a cut, or that they will both sweat in a place with a temperature of 50 degrees. Despite sharing almost all of our DNA with other human beings, the 0.1% difference stands to markedly distinguish one from the others.

With so many overlapping common traits, characteristics and features, there is a sense of fear, insecurity and competition. However, at the core of every human personality is the need for belonging and acceptance. Imagine if we all encouraged everyone to hold to their 0.1% variants and trust them to be the best with their individuality.

You do you. The world would be less insecure and judgemental, if we collectively tried to live by this saying. I emphasize the word “tried”, because an effort is all one ever needs. To make a difference. And such things usually need a more voluntary approach to see effect. Anything over and above that is a campaign.

So, are you ready to embrace the world with You do you?

 

 

Technology: Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

 As an Indian millennial in the 21^st century, I proudly say, especially to the Gen Z folks, that I have been a part of both worlds – one where technology had a negligible role, and now, in a world where AI is already penetrating every sphere of human existence.

I grew up during a time when technology had little to no influence in my life. In the 90s, a computer in an Indian household was primarily used for three main things – Microsoft Word, Paint and Solitaire. Internet Explorer was largely unheard of up until the start of the millennium. Back then, having a computer meant that reserving a considerable section of your room to fit the big dabba that came with the monitor and a CPU, which had the capacity to get as hot as a burning oven and sounding like a breathless rat in no time. There was also a full-size keyboard, which often went into the table drawer along with a moody mouse and its wholesome wire. If you also had a printer, you easily sacrificed a third of an average-size room.

My family first bought a handset when I was 12. A Nokia 6610i (oh, so nostalgic!), the six-inch device got everyone around us, including our extended family, talking and asking to see it with a sense of wonderment. What was meant to be my father’s handset was used by six people, with more than half the people (read: children) hooked on the only game on the phone - Bounce. For your reference, some of the keys on the phone became stuck just within the first few weeks of getting the phone, which resulted in a complete ban on the game and a whole lot of pleas and crocodile tears.

It's been 20 years since the early days of Internet Explorer. As I look back on my life and the years gone by, I can easily chart the evolution of technology, year on year, just like the way I’m able to analyse my own trajectory. We are at an age when the reference to technology sounds as yesteryear as the early days of television sets and telephones. 20 years hence, same would be the case with artificial intelligence, but the one thing that is likely to remain same through the constant state of evolution is the ability to compare where we were and where we are. And that, hopefully, is enough to add that little spark to our existence.

 

My Journey to Self-Discovery

A months after my 23^rd birthday, I channeled my innate feelings and unspoken thoughts for the first time, only to experience liberation. While many think of this kind of an outpour to be an introvert’s resort, I believe every human carries the need, or the want, for a safe space. A place to just be.

While some may find this space in the company of people who get them, some may find it in the comfort of music or sports, or even meditation, among other things. I started a blog in December 2016. Imagine the nervousness of being a student and walking into a new classroom without knowing any of your classmates. During the first few months, every time I hit “Publish” on my screen, my state of mind was akin to being an out-of-place student.

Soon enough, putting pen to paper soon became my haven. As my words unleashed a torrent of emotions, all the anxiety, fear and confusion suddenly found a way out. A mere exercise of journalling my thoughts started feeling like catharsis. I had just found my safe space.

 8 years down the line, a few lakh words, several professional writing assignments and a degree in Creative Writing later, the motive behind coming back to the keyboard remains the same. With every new writing task, I’m still a student walking into a new classroom, except that now this student has discovered her voice and can hold her own in a crowd.

 

 

Kanda Poha and a Hazelnut Cappuccino

 A few years ago, a peer of mine once told me that people who leave their countries to live in another country, even if it is for as short a period as a year or two, always lead dual lives. Back then, I found this statement to be quite blatant and unfounded, but that may well be the truth.

My life in India was comfortable as it could get, like is the case with most Indian kids who live their parents. If you are a single child living with your family, then you can easily find yourself in the category of privileged kids. And more so, if are your mother’s ladla beta. While I don’t belong to any of these categories, I was free from any household responsibilities. Not only was I never expected to cook, but I also often enjoyed fully prepared meals of my choice. Seeing my crumpled clothes in the laundry basket magically appear in my cupboard the next day, fully ironed, was a reality. No matter what time I woke, the maid would be quick to make the bed. Getting champis from my mother or hearing my dad’s voice fill up with concern, while he strokes my head most gently, are some add-ons to a life of all the things I enjoyed in India.

Two years ago, I left India to live in Singapore. It’s no guess that my life changed to a very large extent. I’ve pretty much adjusted myself to my current life out of India, with a few bouts of homesickness here and there.  My definition of comfort has seen a huge shift. Today, every simple, home-cooked meal holds a lot of value. Having someone over is so rare that, much unlike my reaction when the doorbell rings in India, I always answer the doorbell with a lot of anticipation. I never thought that the sight of a growing pile of laundry would get me anxious. Consequently, seeing my clothes washed, dried and folded comes with a big relief. There are several comforts on my current list that I’m leaving out for now.

Looking back on my life in India, I’m realise how I’m finding comfort in all the things I once took for granted. However, during the times when I feel like it’s all getting too much, all I do is eat a phulka roti dipped in a steaming-hot cup of Nescafe coffee to make everything all right.

Thirty-One For Real

 I turned 31 this September, and the old adage “Time and tide wait for none” has never seemed any truer than it does in this moment. I wonder if it’s just me, but I somehow find myself associating more and more with the age I’m no longer at.

The thirties are generally the defining decade of your life, or so I’ve heard. Be it flourishing in your career, growing your family, or being old enough to be called a responsible man or woman, this fourth decade of life honestly makes me feel a little too overwhelmed. It’s sort of hilarious to see myself desperately looking into the mirror and saying. “I look 28 or maybe 29 at best, but certainly not 30 or more.” Simultaneously, my inner voice eerily tries to soothe my anxiety by reminding me that age is just a number. However, I’m not yet ready to take this, because adulting is real and I ain’t comfortable enough to accept that my mum was already a mother of two at my age.

As I reflect on the years that have gone by, my biggest realisation is that time is a thief. A big, bad wolf kind of a thief. Under the garb of growth, it has swiped off my childhood and thousands of precious moments with my loved ones, which I held onto as tightly as I could, only in vain. It has often managed to change my good times into bad. The evil force that time is, it has compelled my once youthful and energetic individuals to slow down, as they now lead their lives as senior citizens. If this is not enough, time has stripped me of the presence of some of my most beloved people, all while relegating them to mere memories.

At this point, I’m pondering over whether I’m more resistant to change than the idea of time itself. My current battle is more about trying to fight the anxiety that comes with the fear of tomorrow than about the past which is not the same as the present. And it is the hope that comes with the anxiety towards a future, which makes the race against time worth it.

 

 

Growing Up

One of the biggest forces of life is the process of aging and evolution. It is this cycle of life, from birth to death, infancy to old age and childhood to adulthood, that breathes hope into the very existence of mankind. However, despite knowing there is going to be an end to our journey on earth, we view death as an evil that is not meant to be. Well, that is something many of us, mere mortals, do.

I was talking to a close friend today, whose father is in a serious condition, as he battles a low heart rate. I have known my friend for almost ten years, since we were started our bachelor's programme, and watching her and her family navigate this turmoil seems almost personal. That is the power of close bonds and friendships, right? You grow to know someone so well, that eventually they, and everything related to them, become a part of your life and core reference group. As your lives start getting more intertwined, every conversation or bonding session starts having multiple touchpoints

I'm two months short of my 30th birthday. If you think approaching the big thirty is already giving me jitters, then you are not completely wrong. I'm thrilled about entering a new decade of life and exploring what comes with it, but what's unnerving is knowing that I have reached an age where a lot of people in my age group have started losing a parent. Now that is something which catalyses the journey of growing up for me. I believe one grows up in many respects, after experiencing the loss of a parent, especially when the loss is a premature one.

Without further analyzing the lows of turning older, I would like to look at the one big gain of growing up - wisdom. After contemplating the impact of a personal loss for quite some time, I have made peace with the knowledge that real pain does not really lie in life or death, but in suffering. Knowing that we are all destined for an end someday, as long as people get to make a peaceful departure from the worldly throes, I think I can manage to keep looking young irrespective of what age I'm at.

The Awakening

Despite the phenomenal advancement the human race makes in science and technology, we can never be immortal. Death or what happens after that is something that consumes a big part of why we hope, and the fact that we are all destined for an end is probably what makes our time, our life precious. Can you imagine being in the same body, going about the same daily chores, being surrounded with the people you know as family and friends, and basically just existing, endlessly? 

Our society has largely stigmatized death. Death is looked down upon as the inevitable evil that evicts you out of this world. Most conversations surrounding a death usually steer towards an expression of pain and loss. Many find avoiding the topic of death, or refraining from talking about a departed soul to be a good way out of validating the reality of death altogether. While one is entitled to have his/her own way to deal with death, death is real and purposeful, much beyond human imagination.

It’s been four months since I lost the most adorable pet; my best friend and my biggest champion. My “good boy” was a 13-year-old in the body of a five-year old; lively and playful till the very end of his life. To anyone who has lived with a pet, losing them can be one of the more life-shattering moments of your life.

Seeing my dog go felt like a part of me was leaving with him. It did. He knew me in a way nobody else did, so much so that every time I felt low or anxious, he fed off my emotions. Moreover, I felt responsible for him, like a parent does for a child, and the loss of a non-human baby can be just as devastating, but the powerful force that death is, one eventually learns to find lasting peace in it.

To those who may not know, I was never keen on getting home a dog, before Lucky came along. In fact, no one in my or my family’s close circle of friends had a pet until then. Before we could grasp the arrival of a five-week-old golden retriever puppy, he became the perfect riot our family of four needed. He took over our lives with insurmountable amounts of joy, craziness, love and companionship. My parents found their third child in him, who always stayed by their side like a dutiful and doting child, while my brother and I couldn’t stop being in awe of his cuteness and smartness. Calling him the pride of our family wouldn’t be an exaggeration by any means.

As years went by, Lucky’s presence in our lives became more central. He was a part of our good times and bad times, fights and celebrations, and achievements and failures. The pleasure of entering the house at the sight of his wagging tail and his favourite toy in his mouth was hard to not fall for. He lived to be surrounded by his loved ones, and, if you knew him, it would be no surprise that he could not watch anyone, especially his family, in pain. 

Cut to a little past his 13^th birthday, the “dog” whom I once cradled in my arms and nurtured with everything I had, and who, in turn, breathed hope and compassion in me all his life, was lying, blissfully unfazed by the intense sobs of his family, or by the lure of his favourite belongings. That moment marked the powerful force that death is. It gave a beautiful closure to a life that had served its purpose.

While his illness gave me time to accept what was to eventually come, it changed my perspective about death. I started looking at death as the ultimate healer, for it was the best way to channel my anxiety about having to see my dog go through extreme pain. I was finally prepared to bite the bullet and let my beloved boy go.

The life cycle of a living being is akin to that of a car. When you drive your brand new car out of the car showroom for the first time, it is normal to be extra careful and ensure that the car remains untouched by dents and scratches. You may also refrain from going very fast, to avoid messing with its system. As days pass, you may find yourself being more at ease with the car, and slowly get back to your regular driving. Over a period of time, small dents and scratches on your car may become common, leading to more acceptance with the reason of its long use. As years go by and the car’s performance starts declining, the thought of selling or giving the car away becomes a reality. There’s not much you can do, but move on trying to feel good about all the years you spent with it.

Weighty Issues

A few years ago, I chose a rigorous workout plan and almost starved myself, to lose 12 kilograms in three months. So disastrous were the repercussions of my weight loss programme that my body was depleted of several essential nutrients and vitamins, and it was only after nine months of struggle and compensation that I could feel healthy again. During the phase of recuperation, I regained all the weight I had lost and I was back to being my normal, plump self. 

Today, I feel pumped to lose some kilograms once every few weeks, or should I say months. Whether it is getting inspired by someone’s weight loss regime, learning about an exciting workout plan, or just watching the bulge around my stomach increasing, I end up making up my mind to give up chocolates (my biggest weakness) and all things fattening, until I discount a lot of the terms and conditions to make any plan more feasible for my body. After many attempts at losing weight, some successful and some, well, were just relegated to ideas, almost everything I did, apart from my walks, felt forceful. 

I recently decided to completely avoid salt in my food for an entire day in a week, which seemed more like a challenge and less like a chore, and boy, I wonder why this idea evaded me this long. With all the food being the same, I was surprised to see how my body reacted to this change. If you talk about the taste of my food, yes, there were very few compromises. The spices in my food overpowered the taste of my saltless platter, and my body hasn’t reacted better to this technique. 

As I plan to continue with this method of losing weight, I feel responsible towards people around me, especially the youth,in letting them know that every body has a different equilibrium, and it’s best to know what suits your body before you make a decision for your health. And don’t forget, less weight can never classify as a sign of good health.

To my future children

Dear child,

I have never seen you and I don't know where you live, or if you even have any form yet, but it’s 2020 in the world I exist in. I don’t know what the circumstances and the condition of the world be like when you read this, given the rapidly changing global scenario and how the coronavirus pandemic has changed things the world over, but there are a few things I would always want you to know, whether or not I’m around to remind you about them.

Here is a list of some things I would love for you to read, when you think that the world is a cold and harsh place, devoid of pure love.

- You have given me hope way before you were born. You are my constant motivation to strive to make a difference in the world, so that you don’t fall short of inspiration to do the same.

- Just so that you don’t forget how special you are, my parents, and your grandparents, already talk about what you are going to be like, and how they wish to be around to watch you grow up. For some reason, you are already a star in their eyes. Like me, I hope your life becomes enriched with their values and rootedness.

- If my actions fall short, then please hold this as a testimony to the fact that you will find your  biggest cheerleader, admirer and best friend in me.

- Strive to be well-educated over being well-qualified. While your qualification will give you knowledge and a direction to your career, your education will give you wisdom and a direction to your life.

- If, at any point in your life, you find yourself to find a purpose in your life, try and reconnect with your past and where you come from. You would be amazed to know how far you have come.

- Be your own person. Don’t let anyone convince you that you are not enough. It is better to fail while trying to find your own identity, than to ace at being someone you are not.

- As I write this, I have no idea what you are going to turn out to be, or how life treats you, but it doesn’t change the fact that you are here with a purpose. You will matter when it matters the most.

- By the time you get around to understanding why I have written this, a lot of things would have changed. I’d be much older, and I’d have matured by a few decades. If there are times when I let you down or fail to live up to your expectations, then please let it go, like how I did when you were little.

- The world will not always make sense, and it was never supposed to make sense. What really matters is that you don’t give up on your loved ones through challenging times, because, at the end of the day, when the leaves of life start falling, love and faith are the only things which will see you through.

- People talk about success and money being major life goals. Don’t buy into all that. Strive to become a good human being. Money will get you the material goods, but it is your values and the relationships you have, that truly make you rich. And about success, you are already one as long as you stay true to yourself and to those close to you.

- Growing up, my life was blessed with the presence of a special friend, my golden retriever Lucky. He continues to reserve a special place in my heart, and I’m proud that he could influence my life with his selflessness, innocence and overarching love. I hope knowing this helps you bear with my regular mentions of Lucky.                                                                                                                                                                  Lastly, I want to let you know you will always continue to be a big part of why I dream. And if ever you feel the need to be reminded about how powerful you are, then you can find my entire existence waiting to prove it to you. Until we are united, I hope you know you are meant to be with me.                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Your biggest fan,                                                                                                              Momma

   

 

 

Chickened Out

The other day, it was well past lunch hour when I got to an eatery. Apart from the fact that I hadn’t eaten momos in months, it was one of the first times I was going out to eat since the lockdown. Lord knows how I was starving for hours before I got a table inside the eatery in the middle of a work day. With roughly 20 minutes on hand, I knew the next few moments would have to be spent focusing just on my platter.

 There is something about the sauce that comes with pan-fried momos that I can never get enough of. With four momos down and six more to go, I chomped on the first portion in fewer than four minutes, only focusing on calming the raging volcano in my stomach. It was only after my stomach stopped growling did I acknowledge the taste of what I was eating.

 “I hope you have served me veg momos,” I casually asked the waiter, being assured about my order. The sweat droplets on my forehead quickly trickled down my cheeks, and under my t-shirt, when the waiter, in an equally casual tone, replied saying he had served me non-veg. The food I had just devoured was nothing but chicken momos. “What in the world…!”

I grabbed a tissue, wiped my forehead and mouth, and got up. The waiter looked perplexed not and asked if I wanted the remaining portion of food on my table packed. It wasn't until I spelled out that I had eaten non-veg for the first time in my 27 years of existence, after he took got the order wrong, that he claimed it was me who had asked for chicken momos.

In my head: How could he… gosh? What am I supposed to do now? Does he know how badly he has messed up? Eew… (Eyes closed) Was this my fault? What was the need to eat outside during this pandemic? Why I did not confirm the order before eating? No wonder the inside bit looked weird. It’s okay, stop making this such a big deal. It was an accident. But…

I took a few deep breaths and got myself to think that what had happened couldn't be changed. I reminded the waiter of the blunder her had made, and that what had happened with me was enough for any staunch vegetarian like myself to get offended. Standing at the billing counter, I asked the same waiter to pack a portion of vegetarian momos, in place of the portion I had left uneaten.

 As I was walking away with the packed momos, my eyes fell on the label that sealed the takeaway box, which bore a red mark. I quickly turned around and pointed to the “non-veg” indication, in front of the waiter. Before I could say anything, the man was ready with the same explanation he had previously offered. This time I simply asked him to pack me veg momos, without discussing the ifs and buts.

While I was headed back to my work, I couldn't help but laugh at the sequence of events. I was unsure if it was the waiter who was to blame for the double whammy, or the lack of my being proactive both the times, which led to the disaster. In any case, my heart and apologies go out to the chicken, and every other animal, that was and is made to bear the brunt of human actions in some way or the other. 

What Is Really Uncertain?

2020 has been rather uncertain. That’s overheard now, isn’t it? Be it staying home for long periods of time (I’d rather not use the word “quarantine” anymore), trying to ‘rebuild’ my life, as if someone were reassembling the blocks of a dismantled Lego house, or simply witnessing the war the entire world is collectively waging against COVID-19, holding onto the constants was one way to ensure some stability going into the “new normal”.

I, for one, love my routine and predictability, even if it seems boring at times. I returned to India in the last week of February, with a dozen plans on how to further my career, after an academic stint in London. After what I would call a glorious end to a year of living my dream, with a backpacking trip across Europe, I was back in Mumbai amidst a growing number of coronavirus cases and talks of a complete lockdown. 

Four nationwide lockdowns later, all I did was laugh out of helplessness, as I watched life unfold its plans for the world at large. At a time when nearly 7.8 billion people are riding the wave of disruption, so much so that finding employment is a challenge that looms large for many, I cannot be more grateful to be able to keep going, and find food on my plate every day. At a time when most small businesses are struggling to survive, while many have already shut up shop, letting my future plans and ambitions take a backseat is a small price to pay. While hospital beds remain filled with people fighting coronavirus with their lives, and when doctors are selflessly championing the COVID-19 “rescue operation”, the least I can do is show unwavering gratitude for my life, and pray for the well-being of humanity.

I’m yet to fully come to terms with the new normal, or even begin to anticipate how the coming months will unfold, but the one certainty that has emerged from our pool of uncertainties is that the human species is reaping the effects of its actions. I, for one, think we are deserving of the current circumstances, and I’m afraid there’s more to come, if we continue to ignore nature with the speed at which we currently are. As a species, we can do better with more ‘real’ goals. It’s time we make a choice of collectively uplifting humanity from the realms one-upmanship and become certain about peacefully co-existing with nature. 

The Stage That Is WhatsApp

                                                   

My mother was never a mobile-savvy person! If you read the previous sentence carefully, then you would have noticed the exclamatory mark tries to lend surprise/shock towards the current reality, because WhatsApp now rocks my mother’s spare time. My mother is a part of 42 group chats, and while every group has a purpose, like she says, the one that really cracks me up is titled “Only Ladies Gossip Group”. As interesting as the name sounds, the contents of the group chat are even more interesting. I would like to save more details and insights about this group for another post, with my mother’s approval, of course, but that group isn’t the only thing I find fascinating. 

I, for one, have for long found the existence of online chatting very interesting; one that tickles my idiosyncrasies. Be it the very nature of group chats, the diversity in the participants of a group, or just the activity that forms a part of any WhatsApp group, I find every aspect of this messaging platform uniquely engaging and anecdotal. As a WhatsApp user myself, and an active one at that, among the many things about WhatsApp that make me tick, I find imagining the app as a stage, a chat group as a play, and the participants as performers, to be highly indulgent and amusing. And thus, in keeping with the purpose of all the fun, random, official, not-so-official, personal, gossip and friendly WhatsApp groups, among many others, here is a shout-out to the different types of people who co-exist in the world of every WhatsApp group chat.        

1) Compulsive Spammers - These are the ones in charge of filling up all the silent moments on a group. It is upon them that the onus of sending daily forwards, good morning and good night wishes lies. What’s more interesting is that most of these “spammers” are also unofficial carriers of breaking news, sharing every other “trending story” much before the official sources can break them.

2)  Avid Responders - If there’s any one thing in life I cannot seem to understand, after why Nutella isn’t tax free, then it is understanding when a conversation can be called over. Not only do people in this category respond to a non-questioning emoji with an unjustified smiley every single time, but also I have encountered many a person effortlessly revive a conversation, days after I have thought of it to be over. And there are no extra points for guessing that these are the same people who avoid “seeing” a message for days, just to ensure there is always a purpose to reconnect. Hm….

3) Flies on the wall - I love how, despite being oblivious to everything that transpires on a group, these onlookers, who are some of the first ones to see all of the group’s activity, are the kind of audience that only give up their seats after the show is over. Let’s be honest, 60% of every group comprises “flies on the wall”.

4) In-betweeners - Striking a balance between a WhatsApp butterfly and an unapologetic hibernator, is someone who keeps every response to-the-point, and formal at best. If you feel obligated to give your reply, just because you are guilty of reading a message and you fear being shameless, or better still, if your activity or response always falls within the realm of a purpose or a situation, then look for an “in-betweener" in you.

5) Event Markers - I don't have enemies, but I have complaints. Against people who lead a group in sending obligatory birthday or anniversary messages, especially for someone who is not on the group. God bless all those large family or friendly WhatApp groups, where the closer family member(s) or friend(s) carries the onus of passing on the wishes for the absentees. And let’s not talk about changing the name and icon of the group as per occasions!

6) Copy Cats - A few days ago, I checked my phone to see 86 messages on a group, all a reaction to the news of a close contact’s demise. And a majority were exact copies of each other. Unfortunately, more drama was to unfold when someone forgot to change the name in the message. Such is life, ladies and gentleman! I’m sure the deceased would be having a good laugh over our mortal antics.

7) Lazed Linguists - Writing is either a form of self-expression or a means of interaction, but the reality may be a little different for those who make it look like a grim story of words going through mutilation, after having fallen off a roller-coaster. What else possibly explains why one “cnt tk”.

8) Emoji-only Essayists - Emojis to their loyalists are what Java is to a coder. So if you’re thinking emojis are add-ons, then think again. To those who swear by the existence of these fun-looking characters, they constitute a language which allows them to encapsulate what could be an almost-75-word message, with just six emojis. Or so my friends suggest, when they reply to my “Hello. How are you doing? I hope you’re having all the fun on this long-awaited trip to Switzerland. I have been following your Instagram stories and posts, and I must say I’m jealous seeing you two enjoying romantic dates in the Alps and exploring the hidden treasures of this country. I’m yet to believe you actually went skiing. And, I cannot wait to hear about your adventures and experiences, once you come back. Take care. I love you both,” with ❤️️🎄🎿❄️👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨🍫. On a different note, don’t you think I deserve better friends? 

As I’m scrolling to the top of the emoji list, I have noticed a WhatsApp message popping in the notification bar. Guess what, it reads “Hey, sorry I just saw your message. Anyway, what are your plans for the weekend?” I guess life before blue ticks wasn’t that bad!

Attack

Like every winter night, the cold had settled into my room before I could get even call it a day. I stood on my balcony for 15 minutes watching the lights in the landscape fade into the darkness. "The world is coming for me. All of this illusion is a trick to get the better of me. Nooo!" I shrieked in my head and rushed into my room in an unsteady gait.

My legs haplessly lifted themselves, before banging against the bed. My feet oscillated in a left-right-right-left-left-left-right pattern, as I desperately tried to get a grasp of the situation. It almost felt like my body was attempting to gravitate away from the force that kept pulling me down. Following the intense struggle, my body flat for a half-a-minute or so, as the sound of my gasps kept reverberating in the room. My hands, one tightly clutched onto the cushion my head lay on, and the other running through the sweat beads on my forehead and scalp. With one eye pushed into the cushion, my other eye, which winked more than it saw, kept trying to see if the only possibility my brain could perceive at the time had changed my anything in my surroundings.
Straight out of the door, on the right, lay a packet I was trying to reach out for. 

Although I was just a few feet away from what lay atop a table, my brain screeched and cried for help every time I convinced myself to get what I was “dreading”. 

Unstoppable

Image Credits:
Creator: Nancy Brown Credit: Getty Images

In the deep slumber of the dark                                                                                                                 A hand is curled up in one corner of the hallway.                                                                             Resting alongside four pairs of outstretched arms,                                                                                 A doorbell at dawn sets her day in motion.

A measure cup fills the pot till an inch from the brim                                                                               The gas knob is turned right in time, before the milk comes to a boil.                                           Babbling bubbles cover the rustic edges of the pail                                                                               She is sixth in queue to finish her morning business.

Hisssssss goes the pressure cooker amidst sounds of bucket splashes                                                  Four lunch boxes lay open on a granite countertop.                                                                        Moving through a passage filled with baby cries and elderly chatter                                                  She sets out on yet another long day.

Flesh is oozing on both sides of the strap secured on her shoulder                                                     Her hand clutches the bag as she paces to get on a BEST.                                                                  Just as she pulls her dupatta to wipe her sweat                                                                                Another long, tedious journey awaits her.

The back of her slip-ons rub against the rounded edges of the stairs                                                     In between hushed breaths, the view of the halting train magnifies.                                               Shoving through sweaty armpits, squeals and stares overflowing with venom                                      She manages to wrap three fingers around the partially idle grab handle.

Honks and vehicular smoke conveniently fill the air                                                                           Open manholes lengthen her walk to her work.                                                                                 Before she can catch her lost breath                                                                                             Twiddling thumbs and buzzing phones grab her attention.

Deadlines and then more deadlines; one after one more

A guise of spiritedness takes her over

She competes for time against the sun 

Little does she know that she is the ray of hope for many

Maybe calling her a multi-tasker would be too mainstream                                                                   Her being goes beyond the people she knows and the work she accomplishes

Maybe the term superwoman still limits her existence to a gender stereotype

Her strength and resilience go much further than what the world needs of her

Maybe she is nature’s hope during storm and happiness during sunshine

Maybe because she is a force that remains unstoppable